Counting My Blessings

This week I read about a study where at bedtime participants were asked to think of three good things that happened to them that day and analyze why those things occurred. The results were better dreams and a higher overall sense of happiness. I'll admit that there's an excessive amount of secular, self-help, self-esteem-building psychology out there, but this study seems to validate something most of us know: we are happier when we count our blessings.

Last winter was a very dark time for me, psychologically and spiritually. Last summer we took a leap of faith and moved to a new area. There were many months of prayer and planning involved and we felt God's hand in the matter. Unfortunately, sixteen months later, what we considered to be the primary objective of the move still hasn't been achieved. I spent a lot of time missing my daddy (who lived eight miles from us before - now it's eighty miles) and the friends I'd left. Mostly I just wondered, Why am I here?

The worst thing was that for seven months we owned two houses. I began to think the old house would never sell. I was so consumed by visions of our total ruin that I could hardly sleep at night. I began to question whether God had led us here or whether we had somehow imagined it all. The worst was that I began to doubt whether He was still watching out for us. I felt totally unworthy of the least of His blessings, and so I begged for mercy for our children's sakes. I can't remember a period in my adult life where I was so filled with fear and desperation.

The house finally sold; we've made lots of new friends and the kids are flourishing; we have absolutely amazing neighbors; we've learned how to get around in our new area; we love our new house. I'm still not sure why we're here, but I trust that God does and He'll reveal His plan in time. I'm not a patient person, but I'm learning.

When the weather turned cool this year, it brought back memories of last winter. We're still dealing with some challenges but I know that the glass is not only half full, it's overflowing.

I'm counting my blessings.

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.