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thoughts from my sick bed
I'm sick and I feel really lousy. I can't believe it's after 3 p.m. and I'm still in my pajamas. The great blessing is that our county called off school because of the weather, which means 3 out of 4 of today's activities have been canceled (and hopefully Hubby Dearest will be home in time to handle that 8 p.m. basketball practice). I'm having trouble adjusting to the fact that I can blog guilt-free, because nobody really expects much out of me right now. It's a little unnerving, since like most mommies I'm highly guilt-motivated. My kids are watching The Rookie, while I sit in bed with the laptop and cross my fingers that the two youngest ones' naps last a little longer. . .

Being sick means catching up on my bloglines and thinking (because how many hours a day can a person sleep?). For some reason, I've been thinking about how my mother always said that she wouldn't want to go back and be my age again, no matter what it was -- 20, 25, 30, 35, whatever. You have to understand that my mother was seriously ill and in enormous pain for many years before her passing in 2004. I would think, "But if you were 25, you would feel better," and other such things, but she always insisted that she wouldn't want to go back. And that's what I've pondered.

I think of my own life and realize that I share my mother's view. In my early 20's I was in great shape; I did 90 -minute workout classes and even attended fitness boot camps. Would I go back to that time in my life if I could? No. There have been times in my adult life when I've been wrinkle-free, or had more free time, or more money in the bank. Would I go back to those times? Not a chance.

In spite of any perks we may have experienced at various points along the way, we know that at all times we were and are sinners, depraved, and prone to botch things up. There are lows to go along with those highs, and although hopefully we learn from them, few would want them to repeat.

Mostly, I think my mother lived with a closer knowledge of her own mortality than I've ever had cause to experience. She lived a life of pain with grace because she knew this life was transitory and there was something far sweeter waiting for her. Every day was one step closer to meeting her Savior and that perfect peace, each passing day a victory.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Doris said...

I wouldn't want to go back either. I just hope I build on what I've learned.

Hope you feel better soon!

Blogger Laurel Wreath said...

Hope you feel better. Hey some days are perfect for staying in your PJ's all day. To me that is a glorious day ;))

Blogger No Cool Story said...

Hope you are done been sick soon.
Its' good to take a break sometimes, even if it's a "forced" break.

Thanks for sharing about your mom. To have -and understand- such knowledge is a gift.

Blogger Peach said...

Sure hope you feel better soon. Maybe I should bring some chicken noodle soup your way?

Take care.

Blogger Melissa said...

Dawn,

I'm sorry that you are sick. I hope that you feel better soon! I love to read what you write about your mother. She was a wonderful, one of a kind, lady, and I'm still learning more about her through what you share.

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